WHEREAS Charleton Heston is one of the greatest movie actors of the 20th century,
WHEREAS Charleton Heston’s movies have become deeply ingrained into the global cinematic experience,
WHEREAS there are very few men who can rock a leather tunic
A velvet jacket and white poufy shirt with a massive ruffled lace jabot
A princely side braid
Biblical hair (from the same movie, no less)
And a loincloth, some chest hair and a choke collar
all within the span of one storied career,
WHEREAS in the 30 seconds of screen time Charleton Heston has in Wayne’s World 2, he steals the entire movie from Mike Myers,
WHEREAS Charleton Heston’s career as sci-fi’s greatest testosterone-dripping manly icon should not be overshadowed by newer and flashier movies (because let’s face it, people…James Franco is no Charleton Heston),
WHEREAS Charleton Heston movies go great with beer, pizza, and a roomful of friends,
WHEREAS I had a lot of fun discussing Charleton Heston films with a fellow blogger/Heston movie enthusiast over at meangoblin.com, and we both thought this would be a groovy thing to do,
IT IS RESOLVED that April 30th shall henceforth be proclaimed throughout all the lands as Charleton Heston Day. HEST FEST, as the day shall be known, will be a day of film, pizza, beer, friends, and the celebration of a legendary cinematic career. It will be a day where the world will look at Charleton Heston’s career and ponder the immortal question: Why did they often choose such strangely effete clothing for him, and how did he manage to make it manly anyway?
Oh, Moses, Moses. You stubborn, splendid, adorable fool.
Let’s make this happen, people. HEST FEST 1, April 30, 2014. We’ve got a year to make this global. We can do it.
Soylent Green fans, I know your first question is: but what do you really serve your guests? That, friends, is entirely up to you.