Charleton Heston: Proclamation of Hest-Fest

WHEREAS Charleton Heston is one of the greatest movie actors of the 20th century,

and

WHEREAS Charleton Heston’s movies have become deeply ingrained into the global cinematic experience,

and

WHEREAS there are very few men who can rock a leather tunic

Image from dailymail.co.uk

Image from dailymail.co.uk

A velvet jacket and white poufy shirt with a massive ruffled lace jabot

Image from lileks.com

Image from lileks.com

A princely side braid

Image from fark.com

Image from fark.com
(Who’s a saucy minx?)

Biblical hair (from the same movie, no less)

Image from classicmoviestills.com

Image from classicmoviestills.com

A neckerchief

Image from bnnreports.com

Image from bnnreports.com

And a loincloth, some chest hair and a choke collar

Image from brusimm.com

Image from brusimm.com

all within the span of one storied career,

and

WHEREAS in the 30 seconds of screen time Charleton Heston has  in Wayne’s World 2, he steals the entire movie from Mike Myers,

and

WHEREAS Charleton Heston’s career as sci-fi’s greatest testosterone-dripping manly icon should not be overshadowed by newer and flashier movies (because let’s face it, people…James Franco is no Charleton Heston),

and

WHEREAS Charleton Heston movies go great with beer, pizza, and a roomful of friends,

and

WHEREAS I had a lot of fun discussing Charleton Heston films with a fellow blogger/Heston movie enthusiast over at meangoblin.com, and we both thought this would be a groovy thing to do,

IT IS RESOLVED that April 30th shall henceforth be proclaimed throughout all the lands as Charleton Heston Day. HEST FEST, as the day shall be known, will be a day of film, pizza, beer, friends, and the celebration of a legendary cinematic career.   It will be a day where the world will look at Charleton Heston’s career and ponder the immortal question: Why did they often choose such strangely effete clothing for him, and how did he manage to make it manly anyway?

Oh, Moses, Moses. You stubborn, splendid, adorable fool.

Let’s make this happen, people.  HEST FEST 1, April 30, 2014.  We’ve got a year to make this global.  We can do it.

Soylent Green fans, I know your first question is: but what do you really serve your guests?  That, friends, is entirely up to you.

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8 responses to Charleton Heston: Proclamation of Hest-Fest

  1. Marko Jezernik

    I can’t wait for the next years Hest-Fest. I think this holiday will get bigger than Christmas.

    Like

  2. My favorite movie with Heston besides Ben Hur and The Ten Commandments is The Planet of the Apes. The way he delivers the lines is so classic. It’s like watching him on a huge stage, larger than life. I love his acting!

    Like

    • beyondpaisley – Author

      I grew up loving “Planet of the Apes” but when I became an adult I really loved and appreciated the wonders that are “The Omega Man” and “Soylent Green”. I mean, come on. SG even has Edward G. Robinson in it. LOL It’s so cheesy, it’s delicious. “I see orange!”

      Like

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